GONE

After a real battle my beloved went "home" to Jesus. The Fight is over.

A Deacon csres

Dear Brother in Christ,

I cannot imagine the pain that you must be feeling at this time, and I wish that I could pray it away for you, but I can't. I can only pray that as our Jesus prepares to open His arms and embrace His precious child you will find some comfort in the countless people at St. Philip's who are here for you. Michael, please do not hesitate to call me if I can be of help.

Deacon Joanna

Kind words

Charlotte sent a Facebook post to let people know the "latest".

My Dear Sweet Sister,

I have been reflecting on my life since I met you and your amazing family. As in the movie "It's A Wonderful Life" I look at what I would  have missed if I had not met you. You truly touched many lives and everyone who has met you is better off for knowing you and your family. I know I won't get to be with you again until I make my journey home. I will be looking for you always. You are the my best friend, so I will be talking to you daily as I do now. Love you always

Pam

Dear Brother in Christ,

I cannot imagine the pain that you must be feeling at this time, and I wish that I could pray it away for you, but I can't. I can only pray that as our Jesus prepares to open His arms and embrace His precious child you will find some comfort in the countless people at St. Philip's who are here for you. Michael, please do not hesitate to call me if I can be of help.

Deacon Joanna

Deputy "Dog"

I installed a "Baby" monitor between the guest room and Gisela. Around 2am today, "Boxing Day" to you Brits or ex Brits!, I saw that Shakira the on-duty nurse needed help.
Between us (with Shakira doing the bulk of the work!) we gave her a new nappy or diapered.!
She is now resting but I am WIDE-AWAKE!
Hence the blog insert!
I talked , via "Skype", to her brother who is in Thailand.
Like the whole family he is distort with the deterioration of Gisele!
We have NOT given up "HOPE" but the odds do not look good.

Clean as a "New Pin"

Today was a busy day; first Nicole, Oliver and the girls came to bring Opa his Christmas gift----a gingerbread Latte from Starbucks. Then Brent came with a bottle of single malt whiskey. Next his wife with two types of Christmas cookies. Katie and "the boys" called from baton Rouge .Then Pam Chandonia arrived with cookies she had made from Omi 1's recipe.
The three ladies gave GSB a great "Blanket Bath". We changed her "knickers" and her bed linen.
She is now resting easily.
Delta ,First Officer Barron, called from the "Big Apple". He will be flying between LGA and BOS until he "dead-heads" home  Saturday.

.

CHRISTmas eve-----a doting son comes to call

Gisela did fall asleep in her "new" bed around 7pm. I ate some soup. Skyped with Gene in Thailand and went to bed about 8:30pm.
I woke up at 10pm to find Ollie telling his "mum" how much he loved her.
I fed her some more medication and he helped her wash it down with water from a small sponge.
So the first night is underway.
I started to look back (again!) how many Christmas eves we have spent together.
When they were very young getting up about this same time to put each "pile" of presents under the tree.
Those early times with both my mother and Omi 1
I missed going to church for the "Candlelight" service. God had me involved a much more important "work" like Oliver telling Gisele how MUCH I love her.
Christmas day is approaching. We will proclaim the birth of our savior who came to save the world.
My simple prayer is to have as MANY days as possible with "My Beloved".
I know she has to "go" but..................

Looking back-------------------?

Because I am not sure how much time we have looking in the other direction!

GSB is going in the next couple of days to move from the hospital to 'hospice home CARE".

She will be here in the Tribute in a special bed but at least in her own home!

How long we have is like the proverbial piece of string! Hours will be great; days a real step in the right direction; weeks a cause for ecstatic jubilation and ANYTHING longer---PURE JOY!

The pain is still there and there is nothing more they can do in the hospital. They need the bed to try and save,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,!

The hospice company will bring a special bed to the Colony.

A trained RN will help me for a couple of hours each day. 

We must all continue to pray for recovery.

But right now as the title says I am looking back at 42 1/2 years of "Wedded Bliss".

If I look at the almost half a century it is NOTHING but amazing:-

1. We have lived in four of the Continents.
2. Our "memory bank" of memories has more GBs than all my laptops together!
3. We have two wonderful sons who with their beautiful wives have given us five gorgeous grandchildren and two more are "on the way"
4. We have homes and friends in three of those Continents.

2015 will be the year we really remember as 2014 is the year we try to forget

Opa and Ollie visit

My beloved is still in the hospital so Ollie and I came to visit. The new game plan is to wean her off of the morphine being fed intravenously and going back to pills orally.
There is still talk of 'Home Hospice but we are NOT sure what that means or entails.

A pilot came to call

Most of You are well aware that Michael has a second job at Delta Airlines.

He popped in this afternoon to visit his "mom".

GSB's "Oncology Team" have decided the following:-

1. Remain in Hospital over the weekend.
2. Go back home under " Hospice care" next week; NO more Chemo.
3. Reevaluate in a couple of weeks!!

Currently she has moved from "Oral "pain medication to a 2mg/ hr IV

She will remain in hospital until Monday, " Hospice" care will take over.

The Pain is too great

Oliver and Nicole organized for Gisela to be transported to Plano
Hospital earlier this evening. Oliver had been a  "surrogate" Opa while I was overnite in Los Angeles. The pain just became unbearable.
The hospital is right next door to the Oncology Clinic we go to and that Der.Stoke and Condi work out of.
This has been building up for nearly a week as she barely eats but takes some pretty strong medication.

A walk in the sun!

We bought a walker; the sort that after some steps you can rest! We did just that! Walked a little and rested. Please note my beloved is wearing her ankle-weights. Not too much " heavy-lifting" but it is the thought that counts.
We took advantage of a beautiful Fall/Winters day here in Texas. Temp low 60's lots of sunshine.

CHRISTmas time

At our church, St. Philips the Advent season is well under way. Last Thursday Molly, our youngest Granddaughter had her class pageant with the other classes in the sanctuary. "Omi" made it along with "Grandma Kreutz (Nicoles "Mum"), Big sister Lydia and proud parents and Opal.

Next morning Lydia had an assembly at her school; her class were Reindeer----- singing "Rudolf", of course.
Gisela sailed through GEMZAR 2, the second Chemo with the "new poison!"

Our Delta first officer just got back from Belize to the "Big Apple" on his way back to Fort Worth.
We will have two Christmas Days this year on the 28th with Katie and their sons (he is flying over the holiday!) and on the 25th with Oliver and Nicole and their girls.
Nicole has only 5 or 6 weeks before "Owen Daniel" is due.

Oliver keeps telling me "Think Positive"!

Oliver's and Michael's constant advice has been always to "Be STRONG" "Remember mum has been healed by the stripes of Jesus". I try. But like most mortals I fall short.

For the last two nights, fearing that she might fall I have returned to the "nuptial bed" instead of monitoring GSB from the Grandchildren room on the second floor with my new "Baby Monitor".
She has great difficulty walking. Falling is a major concern! All we would need on top of mesothelioma would be a broken hip! Hence my move back to "our bed".

Yesterday she did take a bath. A shadow of her former self sums it up for all our readers especially the young. For those of you of my age think back to those mid 40's BBC B&W videos after we "Won the War" and released people interned........................,,,

Today we started a new round of CHEMO.

The brand name is GEMZAR.

Prior to the infusion she weighed in at 110lbs. Refer back to 3 parkas above.

Her leg muscles have atrophied. I have bought some leg weights that may help but she has great difficulty in walking.

The biggest blow to me trying to emulate my sons and "Be strong" came as I just gave her some more pain medicine tucked her into bed she said :-

               " Opal please do not worry we have HAD a wonderful life"

A Body Blow

Today we took a "body-blow" ,below the belt! Mary Crowley had lead us to believe that Gisela would be an "acceptable" candidate for an experimental trial for Mesothelioma; sadly the detailed test results showed otherwise.

She has two (2) conditions that rule her ineligible:-

  1. The rheumatoid factor,
  2. A urine /bladder deficiency.

The reading required for Nos.1 is 13. GSB's was 450!!!!!

We are both DEVASTATED. Now what? At Mary Cowley a big fat ZERO.

Get the RF factor reduced by 427? Not sure what that means.

We meet with Dr..Skokie this Wednesday. More prayers , on the belief that when the door is closed the Lord will open another one in its place

A Doctors"Love"

Dr..David Park has been our Gastroenterologist since we moved from Illinois to Texas in 2002. Dr. Skokie suggested we contact him for his " expert " opinion on the last CT Scan findings.

When he walked ,this morning, into the Exam room at his rooms near the hospital he cried!
Powerful, to say the least!

He explained that the blockage in GSB's bile duct was causing the enlargement of her gall bladder.
He recommended an MRI to verify how bad that blockage was; early next week?

His testimony as we started to leave was so "Powerful". I paraphrase:_

                   "Gisela we are all on a journey. NONE of us knows how much more of the earthly            part we have to live ---could be this week (!) ;maybe this month (!!) possibly this    year.or maybe TEN more years. Enjoy your time NOW! Take the pain medicine. Eternity is ahead------NO MORE PAIN!

They hugged. Wow. So much for Doctors being non-emotional with their patients.

A BAD month or more!

It has been some time since I updated the blog.On October the 17th the Oncologist, Dr. C Stokoe, decided against the scheduled CHEMO as Gisela's kidneys were showing signs of " distress ".... ...She was given an fusion of IRON and medicine to help with the nausea. That was repeated another two times in the next week!
Then she had a CT Scan to check the Brain and the lower abdomen.
The ONLY good news was there was NO trace of Cancer in the Brain. However the "BAD NEWS" offset that.
The mesothelioma in her "Pleural Cavity" has GROWN! Her lymph nodes (in her chest ) have also become "activated". Her liver has three (3) spots on it and her Gall Bladder is extended---enlarged!
Tomorrow we go to Dr.David Park who has been our Gastroentilogist since we moved to Texas in 2002. Possibly the intense pain she has, which is CONSTANT, is caused by this "new" problem.
Gisela is so "upbeat" and although I do NOT have her physical pain the mental anguish is really getting me down.

Chemo 3

We are "old hands" at Chemo! The nursing staff , a wonderful nurse called Pam, ( how poignant when we think of two other great Pam's Leary and Chandonia ) does all the work. Gisela just sits there and her BIG Drip watches all the little drips enter her blood system.
The process is still the same since Chemo 1. "Flush" her out!; add anti nausea "stuff" added for obvious reasons; now prepared, run in the " Good Stuff ". Pure "platinum" --sort of.
bless her heart she did well. So well that after a visit to the " little girl's room " she nodded off.

Port 2

Several you inquired who the two people are? Well the lady was the RN Supervisor and the gentlemen the PA to the asset. surgeon; hence the magenta "Scrubs"

Anyone for PORT?

Gisela is now the proud owner of a "Port"? Unlike the after dinner drink or where a ship docks this port has been inserted above her right breast with a "connection" to the major vein in her neck!
The procedure to "insert" took less than 45min.
Hindsight is always 20:20 vision! We should have opted for this from Day 1.
The device is now UNDER her skin! Any future CHEMO session or IV drip will be so much easier for both Gisela and the administering RN.
As you can see (I hope!) from the photograph the device has three (3) knobs that the RN can "feel"
and then insert a special needle into the "centre" of the 3 knobs.

Celebration Time

We decided to join "Ollie" and "Les Girls" ( Nicole, Lydia and Molly) at the "seaside"; Galveston ,Texas.
The weather was excellent but the FISH were even better!
If you go "Gaido's" or "Fishermans Wharf" are two of the finest restaurants to enjoy seafood.